Thunder in Heaven

If any of you follow the Facebook page, you may have seen that our good friend, Thunder, has left this Earth. He was a wonderful partner and has left his hoofprints in my heart.

I realize that it’s been around two years since I last posted, so I guess I should catch you up a little bit. Things were going pretty swell for me and Thunder for a while there. I didn’t get the chance to ride very often, but each time I did, he was as perfect as he could be. He made me very proud! The distance was a bit of a struggle, as the barn was a good 20-25 minutes away from home, and my busy toddler made it tricky to spend hours away at the barn (you horse people know what I’m talking about; there are no “quick trips to the barn.”). We had considered moving him closer to home to a barn where I was already doing barn chores on a regular basis, but in the end, I just couldn’t take on the added expense of keeping him. I looked at every mathematical possibility there was, but the numbers just didn’t add up for the time being. Eventually, Thunder ended up moving back to his original family, who loved him dearly the rest of his days.

In the meanwhile, I was finding barn chores were taking longer and taking more “out” of me. In a ballet class last Autumn, I found that my foot wasn’t coordinated or as agile as it normally was. Slowly, the left side of my body began to go numb. I was diagnosed in December with Multiple Sclerosis, and my balance was off-kilter enough that I was afraid to ride. My endurance took a major nosedive, as well: I had run a half-marathon on October 13, but six weeks later, I was unable to do 8 minutes on a stationary bicycle at a leisurely pace. I stopped doing barn chores, and struggled through a ballet class or two before hanging that up for later, as well. To date, the only time I’ve ridden a horse was on a rental-type trail ride while I was honeymooning in Aruba in May (oh yeah, I got married, too!). I’m no longer afraid to ride, thankfully, but I haven’t had the energy to do so. The very hard part about the state of my health has been knowing that if I push myself too hard, I’m going to wind up stuck in my recliner for a day or so afterwards. Try doing that with a 4-year-old on the loose in your house...

So the things I tell myself to help make the hurt of missing opportunities to visit My Sweet Baboo, missing the chance to take him in and care for him in what would ultimately be the last months of his life, and just plain missing Thunder is the old saying everyone always says when situations are just trash: “Everything Happens for a Reason.” In this case, I tell myself that it’s somehow good that I couldn’t take him on when he was available to me. Thunder went on to live with His Lesa and her family— as a worker in a veterinary office, she was able to provide him with the best care possible. He lived at home with her, so he was loved on every day— something I would not have been able to do. I’m grateful that things worked out so that while my health was affecting my ability, he was living his best life, and that as his life was ending, someone was kind enough to lay him to rest with as much love as anyone could give a horse.

I’ll always miss him. He was an excellent teacher, and once you figured out that if you gave it 100% and asked really nicely, he was a complete stunner to ride. He didn’t have a sense of humor (in the sense that if you lost your balance or if you were too hard-handed), he wouldn’t suffer your foolishness. But any child could ride him— he knew the difference. He was sometimes pig-headed— but then you learned how to step back and ask more specific, kind questions. If you got mad at him, he didn’t suffer your insolence. If you came to work hard with him, however, he would meet you halfway. He was the first horse I rode at a rising trot. He was also the first horse I ever jumped (because he was a POWERHOUSE back in the day!). He always checked my pocket, and gave the most withering side-eye if it was empty. He stood for hours on end as I practiced mane-pulling and braiding (dude had some serious Fabio hair!). He took a little catnap in the crossties as I curried him. He followed me around the arena when I was done riding and felt like “taking him for a walk.” He stood perfectly still when I’d spring up off the ground for a bareback ride (I probably can’t do that anymore. At least not on something 16hh). We knew each other for years and years, although we didn’t always see each other— sometimes it was years in between. He still came back after any length of time like no time had passed at all— just how it is when you’re good friends with someone. He was a good friend above all things, and I’ll cherish all the hours we had together. Here’s to you, Thunder. May you backstroke-roll in the greenest pastures and the slimiest mud that Heaven has to offer such a magnificent, good boy. I love you.

Some R Thunder Cloud

“Thunder”

1/23/97-8/31/19

Don't get ahead of yourself...

The words "Don't get ahead of yourself" have been long and often revered as words of wisdom. It's important not to overstretch your boundaries, not to overextend your abilities, not to overwhelm yourself in any way. These words are also just so HARD to follow.

Following another rather inspiring ride on Thunder last night (Mommy got to go by herself, which was both pleasant and lonely), my brain is swirling with more goals, dreams and ideas of what we can accomplish together. Add to that a trip to the County Fair (complete with Kiddo's $5 Pony Ride on Velvet) and I'm just a sea of equine-themed emotions.

-  I want to buy my daughter a pony. Doesn't everyone? The cuteness! Oh, the cuteness. This kid in a leadline class would just make me die. I'd melt on the spot.

-  I want to ride every day and get into great shape and get Thunder into great shape and win EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE and wear a tiara and sash to the grocery store.

-  I want to try just one teensy local competition so that I can totally casually dip my toe into competing for the first time in oh, thirteen years-- and then I was doing teensy local shows mostly at walk/trot. I have to this day 1 show's worth of W/T/C class experience. Eeep.

-  I want to ride every day and feel the wind in my hair! (Although totally not because it drives me crazy when I'm riding-- hairnets and braids are my friends)

-  I think I just want to wear a tiara and sash to the grocery store, period.

-  I want to ride Thunder well. I'm riding him better than I expected, to be sure, but I know that we can accomplish so much more. Things like maintaining a nice rhythm in all gaits. Keeping nice balance, straightness, bend. Keeping him happy and easygoing the whole time we're working. He's mostly happy and easygoing now, but there are still times when I don't feel like he fully trusts me to not let him get eaten by everything. Times when he gets annoyed with me. Times when he's completely checked out of our conversation.

-  I want to get his hair under control! My gosh! It's a hot mess!!

-  I want to take him trail riding and meet my friends and their horses and we can all be buddies together.

-  I want to begin taking lessons with him to really get our training together tightened down.

-  ***List of Pipe Dreams for Kiddo and Her Hypothetical Pony***

This is clearly a very exciting time for this "Re-riding Beginner." I'm very excited about all of this. In fact, I'm so excited that I'm blogging instead of sleeping at the moment. It's these times, however, that I really need to remind myself "Don't get ahead of yourself." It would be easy to dive right in, hit a wall, and then crash for another who-knows-how-long. To "scare off opportunity before it has a chance to knock." It's going to be much harder to take it a day or week at a time, but it will be very well worth it.

In the meantime, I can bide my time wearing my tiara about town.

Back in the Saddle

It's been so long since my last blog post, I almost can't believe I'm logged back in with something to say!

Since the last time I wrote, much has changed. Shortly after my last post was published, I discovered that I was pregnant. Now I have a beautiful toddler who... guess what? ...is horse-crazy. Things really couldn't be better.

Before now, though, it's been a very off-and-on equine journey these past three years. I didn't ride at all for the year after my daughter was born-- a c-section scar with a few minor (yet painful) complications prevented me from having any desire to put on jeans or tight-fitting pants of any kind. Then, after I got used to that idea, I was afraid to put on my breeches for fear that my body had changed too much for them to fit any more. Last summer, I finally got brave enough to pull on the ole breeches and-- hey hey! --they fit just fine.

I took a few good rides on Thunder, but the excuses just kept coming. It was too hot. Too cold. Looked like rain. I had too much work to do. I can't leave the kiddo. I didn't have time to drive all the way out to the barn, brush, tack, ride, brush, put away and drive all the way home. You guys know how it is. Sometimes, all you have excuses. Until the day they finally run out.

Luckily for me (and Thunder, although maybe he won't admit it), the excuses finally stopped this summer while walking through a nearby amusement park with my sister and my daughter. We came around the corner to where there is a petting zoo and BAM! new for this year are $5 Pony Rides. My kid proceeds to point with such a look of joy and excitement (while also somehow sensing that is bad form to shriek and make sudden movements around horses-- she's a wonder)... how could I keep walking by? So I give the lady $5 and we embark on Baby's First Pony Ride. She LOVES it. She talks about her pony, Goldie, for days. We take her back. She rides Duchess.  Few weeks later, she rides Danger, too. We go to a charity event and she rides Cobalt. We go to a festival with $4 Pony Rides (a steal, no?). She rides Daisy. We go to another festival with FREE (can ya believe it?!) Pony Rides. She rides Sparky, Daisy (same Daisy who had been $4 two weeks prior)  and I dunno, somebody else who's name she can probably remember but I'm just spent. She goes back to the amusement park and rides Koda for $5.

Baby's First Pony Ride

I realize my toddler has spent more time in the saddle this summer than I have in years. I get jealous (in that you're-so-happy-for-someone-but-why-can't-it-also-be-you way)! I realize that...

If I got my butt back into the saddle and we brought the kiddo to the barn... I could ride, and then she could ride, too! For FREE (because borrowing a horse is a beautiful, beautiful thing)!!!!

So I buy her a toddler-size helmet because EVERY RIDE EVERY TIME is something that is important to me despite the several helmetless pony rides she had over the summer (nobody is perfect).

She's going to learn Every Ride, Every Time.

My friend and I take her out to the barn, and the kid sleeps in the car with the air on and my friend sitting next to her while I ride Thunder for like 5 seconds but ermagerd my legs will fall off. We wake up Kiddo and put on her helmet and put her in the saddle, showing her how to hold the grab strap at the pommel, then walk around the arena for a few laps with my heart so full as I lead and my kid so smiley (and my friend so uber vigilant as she has lots of experience side walking during equine-assisted activity and therapy sessions). Life is Good.

I joined a local just-for-fun riding "club" and went to a meeting two days later, where I got to ride Caymus who is very quiet and well-trained, used as a therapy horse and perfect for those "I don't know if I can do this" nerves. We met with some seriously great success, in my opinion. By this, I mean I didn't fall off and I actually rode all the gaits and even did some dressage and I didn't feel like a complete fool. My legs almost fell off again, but after a break (and some stretching and massage) I even got back on and rode some more.

Me and Caymus

Just like that, I was hooked again.

I went back out and rode Thunder again. I took a few more risks, riding him more forward at the trot and even cantering some. We do lateral work and dressage (a little. We're both out of shape). I start looking into small schooling shows locally (not quite ready for that, but ready to look, anyway). I start getting ideas. Hopes. Goals.

I decide I really want to pursue some baby-level dressage testing some day with him.

- Have to change his bit because his copper roller snaffle bit has too many moving parts to be allowed in a test.

- Buy an El Cheapo plain snaffle to get by until we get a nicer one.

- Shine up his bridle and put on the new bit.

- The heavens open, an angel chorus sings, and I have an absolutely fantastic ride on my Sweet, Sweet Baboo Named Thunder Who I Love I Love And I Don't Care Who Knows It.

- A teeny little girl's voice asks, "Mommy, can I ride Thunder? I have my helmet."

- My heart splodes.

- Mommy (leading) and Daddy (sidewalking) take our lil Peanut for another pony ride on [see above mentioned horse whose name I doodle in hearts across all of my dreams, hopes and prayers]. I teach her to say, "Walk on" and "Whoa" and Thunder works on ground manners and transitions while my heart is continually gushing love goo everywhere.

I teach Daddy and Kiddo a little about grooming as we pack up to head home... and I just feel so fulfilled. Brimming. So close to my family and my (well sorta, you know how it is) horse and so very, very lucky to have these times together. It's never been a better time to get Back in the Saddle.

*heart splosion*

Well hello my name is Simon...

As I mentioned in my last post, and if you've been following the Sonata Equestrian Facebook Page, a few weeks ago I was lucky enough for a woman to offer me her horse to ride a few times a week in order to get him into better shape and brush up on his skills.  Simon is a nine year old Quarter Paint who went through training for the basics years ago, but has been a pasture pet for the last few years.  When I met him, he was very sweet and curious, sniffing me over and looking for scratches.  Now that we've worked together a few rides, I think I'm in love.  He's very sweet, kind, and eager-to-learn.  Simon always looks for ways to give you what you want.

At our first meeting I turned him out into the round pen to free-longe him.  I took a long look at how he moved and asked him a question or two about changing gaits and speed.  He happily whizzed around and around for a few minutes, but completely blanked when I asked for a half-halt or "whoa."  After a skidding stop or two, I learned how much "whoa" was too much, and he learned to pay closer attention to my voice and body language in the middle of the ring.  I could see his gaits were really nice and smooth, although his trot was often overextended and too fast, and he didn't like to pick up his left lead canter if he could get away with it.  He couldn't get away with it.  As he began to relax, stretch his head down, and bring his gaits under control, I praised and gushed-- he's a really cute horse to watch.

When he was settled in and listening to my transition cues, I took him to the riding arena to try it from his back.  What began as a long, jarring extended trot in a Western saddle very quickly turned into a relaxed, happy trot.  It was still a little quick to be called a "jog," but it was comfortable, forward, and relaxed.  We went around working in circles, figure-eights, serpentines, and across the diagonal, and something within Simon "clicked."  He understood.  I praised, pet, and put him away.

The next time, he was even better-- easy-going gaits right from the beginning in the round pen, and an eye and an ear on me throughout the exercise.  When I got on, he was a perfect gentleman.  Nice, round walk and trot all over the arena in a variety of figures and over ground poles.  I was overjoyed, and he was relaxed and forward throughout.  We tried to pick up the left lead canter but he counter-cantered and got grumpy.  We worked on something else that we both felt good about, then I took him to the round pen to make up the difference for his canter work.  He was marvelous.  I praised, pet, and put him away.

Our third ride was yesterday, and he was a complete dream.  Solid walk, trot, and canter work-- although he initially picked up the wrong lead going left.  Lo and behold, Simon has extremely smooth flying lead changes!  Two strides on the wrong lead in the circle, and POOF! he was on the correct lead without me doing anything at all.  I'm still amazed and grateful!  Right lead canter went off without a hitch, so what do you think I did?  Praised, pet, put away.

Today I took another ride on him and he was again super-- though two days of work in a row showed their wear on him. I got super walk, trot, and right lead canter, but left lead was a no-go.  It was a snorting, pawing, refusing to go forward fit.  Hey, we all have those days.  Not to start an argument, I dropped the subject, but I didn't let him win.  If he wasn't going to pick up the left lead, he still had some lateral work to do and some bending exercises.  These were all accomplished without any "buts."  After we worked for a few minutes after his (teensy) hissyfit, he went right into the round pen to make up the difference with that left canter.  I figure it may have been too much to ask after he just did it so well yesterday, so I'd drop his weightload (me) for him to work it out and keep balanced.  He was happy, so was I.  At this point, I'd rather see him do less work and be happy about it than to work beyond expectations and be resentful.  I think I made a pretty decent choice, but time will tell how long it is before he is consistent on both leads.  In the meantime, I'll just continue to enjoy him and keep him conditioned evenly, even if I'm in the saddle for part and on the ground for another part.  I'd hate to ever see him be upset or resentful-- he has such a sweet spirit!

The man, the myth, the dollface.  What a sweetheart!

Make New Friends, But Keep The Old (Part Two!)

If you can remember from my last post, "Make New Friends, But Keep The Old," I'd mentioned that I missed making new horse friends.  I missed learning about what makes a new horse tick, teaching him something about me, and working with him to accomplish something together.  At the same time, I love riding Thunder, and have really made nice progress with him in terms of getting him into better fitness again, remembering his manners, and regaining his balance.  In the last few weeks, however, I've gotten a little more than I'd wished for.

About two weeks ago, Thunder moved to a different barn where he could be more accessible to his owner.  Who can blame her?  She has a wonderful horse who she should get to enjoy, too!  Aside from that amenity, Thunder also has a young neighbor girl who is ready to love, spoil, and care for him, and fields, pastures, and woodland trails to enjoy.  The guy hit the Pony Paradise jackpot, and I'm happy for him and his owner.  I'll miss him, of course, but I still get to visit.

As you can see, the boy isn't miserable in the least!

Following Thunder's relocation, I quickly set up a lesson with Ashton so I could still ride-- and brush up on my skills.  One thing I've definitely had refreshed in my memory since my lesson is that what feels one way on one horse feels completely different on another horse.  They are not all the same-- and that's a wonderful thing!

In my lesson, I met a new horse friend (perfect!) named Cruiser, a four-year-old Quarter Morgan.  The little tyke was so cute and sweet, but also wise beyond his years in terms of being a lesson horse.  He was level-headed, dependable, predictable, and easy-going.  It was love at first ride.  Plus, he looks a lot like a smaller Tubby (remember him?  I got to pet him while I was there, too).

Comparison:

Tubby

Cruiser

So cute.  I love them both!

Ashton imparted to me a lot of wisdom not just about riding in general, but also about riding a young horse, and especially about riding Cruiser specifically.  While in the saddle, I picked up on a lot of feelings that went along with what she was teaching, as well as all my reading and video-watching.  It was a really good lesson!

The day after, I got to meet yet another new horse friend, Simon.  Simon's owner was kind enough to respond to an advertisement I'd put on Facebook, looking for a new horse to ride.  He's a nine-year-old Quarter Paint with basic training, who has been a bit of a pasture horse for the last few years.  His owner loves him and rides him, but she had been looking for a person who could ride him sometimes, too, in order to give him a more consistent working regimen.  It was a perfect situation.

Simon, not to be outdone in the Cuteness department.

As I learned more about Simon and his owner, I came to find out that she worked for stables that old friends of mine owned.  I was delighted to learn that I'd be among friendly faces, and to get a chance to reunite with some of my old horse friends, too!  When I got there, I knew four of the other horses in the stable, and I had a wonderful time telling Megan (Simon's owner) about our old adventures.

Now I've ridden Simon twice, and I've had a marvelous time "figuring him out" and helping him to relax into his work.  He's been a happy, eager-to-please partner, and appreciative of the rewards that we give-and-take.  It's been a wonderful opportunity, and I'm really hoping to make the most of it.

Make New Friends, But Keep The Old

Back in my time as a camp counselor, we sang a song that advised us: "Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold."  That song came to mind to me today when I made a new horse friend at the barn where I volunteer.  Since my last chore night, Riders Unlimited, Inc. welcomed a new boarding horse, Trigger, to the herd.  I got to meet him tonight.

Trigger is a 2006 Arabian-cross palomino gelding who spent the entire day in pasture with the herd today, but then gets separated into a stall at night while many of the other horses are turned out into the indoor arena.  As the pasture has a gate leading directly into the arena, everyone came in all at once for supper, to be separated into their stalls to eat in peace.  Wouldn't you know, my soon-to-be-new friend wanted nothing at all to do with me!  Trigger ducked behind the trio of Haflinger mares to evade me, thus upsetting two of them and causing one to go into a slight heat-induced frenzy (that's not to say any of the horses were behaving dangerously, it was simply very comical to watch two mares kick and run away, while the other one "winked" at him, stayed between he and I, and looked at me with a very obvious, "You stay away from My Man!" expression).

After a few minutes of Trigger-and-mare silliness, I decided to go back to work, and let out some of the other geldings who had finished their grain and were ready again to be turned out.  As other geldings entered the arena, the mares relaxed a bit and began to spend time again with their usual friends.  Everyone relaxed and began to eat at their hay.  I entered the arena again to separate Trigger, but he still had no desire to come with me.  He ducked behind the other geldings and mares again; provoking a few to kick out and run, and poor Flicka (the lovebug Haflinger) to still try to keep his attention and stand in my way.

At last, the farce had gone on long enough with no result.  I grabbed a lunge whip and entered the arena again.  As soon as the other horses noticed the whip in my hand, they were very wont to stay out of my way and no longer harbor the New Guy that I was coming for.  Quickly, they all crossed the arena and began to eat-- including Flicka-- abandoning poor Trigger at the other end.  Now I stood between him and the herd, and the herd had no interest in him or me with my whip.  What was Trigger to do?  He stood there, ears perked up and forward, looking at me, looking at the herd, and looking at my whip quietly at my side.  I had his attention now!  I stood there and quietly spoke to him.  I said things like, "Now we can talk, huh?  Are you going to be a good boy?  It's ok.  I won't hurt or scare you.  We'll just talk a minute."  I rambled on about what a good boy he was being as I stood there, arm outstretched, whip quietly at my side.  As he relaxed and bent down his head, I took a step forward.  When his head came back up and his eyes and ears were again studying me, I praised him.  When he relaxed and sighed, I took another step.  This went on until I was close enough for him to sniff at my hand, and then I was close enough to touch him, praise him, and scratch behind his ear.  He sighed and dropped his head again, and I took him by the halter.

He followed like a pro-- he'd been caught and was relaxed enough to go on behind me as though he'd known me for years.  I took him back to his stall and closed the door behind us, loving on him and talking to him, bonding with him as he looked out the window, sniffed around, and nibbled at his hay.  When he was happily settled in and I was content, I quietly crept back out the door.

This story isn't actually very interesting.  Lots of people catch horses who are hard to catch all the time, in various ways.  There are many things I could have done differently.  There are many "right" ways to safely catch a horse and put him in a stall.  I hope that you readers can all see that, and understand that this isn't a story about catching a horse, or "taking control," or asserting myself.  This story is actually much more to do with how I felt as I slowly gained the trust and respect of a new horse friend.

It has been a long time since I met and worked with a young and new horse.  Many of the horses I come across these days are either already familiar with me, or they are old hands at meeting new strangers all the time.  It's been a long time since I've had to introduce myself and have that "first conversation" with a horse.  It was a little bit strange yet very familiar and ultimately very rewarding.  I've sorely missed teaching a horse and gaining his trust!  As much as I love Thunder and we do learn so much together, he already knows me and his job pretty well.  He's secure.  It was nice to "make a stitch" with an otherwise insecure (at least to me) horse for a change.  It doesn't make the tapestry I've been slowly working at with Thunder any less special, but it comes with its own unique thrill.

So there you have it, Sonata Fans.  There's the part of riding I've been missing for a little while now: making new friends while keeping the old.  One is silver and the other gold.

Time Out

Well, I have been warning myself, my friends, and my family for a few weeks now that, "If I keep going at this rate, I'm going to wind up sick," and it has happened.  As Spring has finally made it's appearance here in Sonata Land, I've been busier than ever: I've been working with Thunder on a much more consistent basis, researching Thoroughbred racing (and, let's face it, any kind of equestrian sport), reading and watching clinic videos, and working extra hard at my job-job.  Time is flying and things are getting intense.  I've spread myself too thin and now I'm reaping the benefits of the forced-stop of being sick.  I'm not talking a little sniffle here-and-there sick.  I'm talking full-blown, 102.4-degree temperature, delirious with fever, and miserable with flu-like symptoms illness.  Luckily, an antibiotic and countless fever-reducing medications later, I'm on the mend!  The trick now is to ease back into a normal schedule without overdoing it as I am wont to do.

Since I've been laying here so patiently waiting for wellness to return, however, I've finally been able to read, study, and watch my equine publications and videos at a less break-neck speed-- really giving myself the chance to absorb more from it.  My "project horse," Thunder, and I have been learning so much to regain fitness and balance; I'm grateful for this time to focus and reevaluate our goals.

I've had to bring the "ole boy" back along slowly to boost his confidence and fitness train him without him getting sore or sour.  This slow-and-steady method has really paid off!  It wasn't long at all before he was using his hind end, lifting his abdominals, and carrying himself again.  His balance around turns is improving with every ride, his canter is coming nicely uphill.

Most importantly, his attitude has improved with each ride.  I think back to a time when I was intimidated by him, when he could be unkind, willful, and even a little surly when asked to do anything.  Leg contact annoyed him.  Rein contact resulted in an argument.  This is not to say he was ever a bad horse!  Thunder has never been a bad horse.  I think the true reason for the change is most dependent on my improvement in skill and balance and also my change in approach.

It used to be that I'd get in the saddle, warm him up, do some trot work on the rail, start working him in circles, and then the grumpiness would come out.  We'd canter for a few strides each way, and he'd be so heavy on the forehand and unrelaxed that it was miserable to ride and surely miserable for him, too.  I can remember wanting to shout, "NO!" and pull back, and give him a "Bad horse!  That's a bad horse!!" speech.  It's important to remember here that I truly believe Thunder has never been a "bad horse."  It's also important to note that I didn't act on the impulse to shout/beat him into submission.  I'd simply try this and try that, and when we got to a place where he did something smoothly and wasn't exhibiting resentment, we'd close for the day.  Pet, pet, good horse.  This became a little tiresome, however, and I started to search for things that would make us both happy as soon as possible.

At first, I'd breathe out, "Hey, it's ok," as we were cantering.  "Don't run away," I'd say.  Slowly, I started to add just a squidge of rein for a half-halt as I was breathing out, "Heyyy, take it easy."  His nose started to come back down, his ears started to relax.

In a later session, he didn't want to trot a circle in a bend-- he wanted to tilt into the turn.  Contact on the outside rein to balance him and keep his shoulder upright resulted in a salty-horse response that again provoked me-- but all I did was stop, bend him right and left at the halt, and ask him to try again, all the while telling him, "You can do this, buddy.  It isn't too hard.  We can do this, and then it will be over."  Wouldn't you know it?  His neck arched gracefully as he relaxed on the bit and performed a nice, upright circle.

Soon, all of my cues were followed by the words, "We can do this.  It's ok."  Our trotting spirals, figure-8's, serpentines are all coming smoothly along.  Our canter is becoming relaxed and easy on us both (although he still occasionally falls onto the forehand to catch his breath for a stride or two).

It has been a long road of asking nicely, changing from a "do this, do that" dictator approach, and above all making sure not to wear either of us out with too much exercise.  The resulting relationship and partnership has really been splendid.  As I lay here in bed with my box of tissues and room-temperature 7up, I keep smiling just thinking about him, what a wonderful time we'll have when I'm better, and all the new things we'll learn about each other the next time I visit.