Life Takes a Roller Coaster Ride

As I promised on the Sonata Equestrian Facebook Page, here is my update after a terribly long break!  As you can guess from the title of this post, "Life Takes a Roller Coaster Ride."  I've had a lot of ups and downs lately but things are finally starting to even back out.  Since my last update, I've started working with a new trainer named Lindsey so that Jessica can go back to school and follow her dreams.  I've had four or five lessons with Lindsey now and everything is going well there--- as long as I keep my "try-er" in working order.  That's a recent development.  Outside of lessons, I've started a new job and have been keeping extremely busy, which means I've started slacking off big-time on all of my reading and also my riding with Thunder.  Like I said, there have been definite ups and downs.

Lessons with Lindsey have been going pretty good.  I miss Jessica, but I'm glad to still be in good hands as far as trainers go.  When I last updated, Jessica had me jumping small courses with Tubby, working on my seat, leg position, and coordinating my aids.  Lindsey has made sure to keep up with this line of study, adding in a few new flatwork patterns to help me coordinate my aids, some dressage steps, course jumping, and (of course!) no-stirrup work.

My leg position has really been coming along, however, my heels are still not as down as they ought to be.  They also pop up and "poke" my horse for an upward transition rather than staying down and letting my lower leg squeeze him forward.  I'm still getting tired much too quickly and am maladapting to make it easier.  It's frustrating.  I'm also still losing a stirrup on a regular basis, or otherwise allowing it to slide back too far home on my boot.  That's also frustrating, although I'm getting better at keeping my balance and leg position as my toes fish around for my stupid stirrup.  Ugh.

My aids seem to be coming together a little better and I'm having an easier time steering and maintaining a pace, although it is still much too easy to squeeze the bit too tightly or to pull back on the reins too much and get an unexpected halt.  The leg:hand ratio is still a work in progress.  This is exceptionally evident if I'm riding Rio, AKA Mr. Sensitive, AKA If-You're-Going-To-Ride-Me-You're-Going-To-Do-It-Right-Or-I'll-Make-You-Look-Like-A-Fool.  That said, Rio is a wonderful horse who always does exactly what I ask for-- I hope you see my problem here.

Hi, I'm Rio, and I'm very awesome-- everyone loves me.  I expect excellence, however, and will do exactly what you tell me-- even if it makes you look like a dummy (you might say especially then).  Haha!

These little troubles have recently been compounded by my lack of "try."  That's almost painful to write; I've always wanted to be the type of rider who works tirelessly and gives it all she's got.  In my last two lessons, I really can't say that I have "given it all I've got."  It would seem that my "try-er" has been out for repair.  I can think of a long list of reasons why I haven't been trying so hard-- I'm so tired from all the extra work I've been doing, I've got a lot on my plate right now, I've been experiencing a lot of inflammation in my leg joints, I haven't been sleeping well, I've been too busy to practice, the weather has been too darn hot the last two lessons...  The list could go on and on.  I can argue that some of these reasons are pretty convincing, but the biggest thing that they all have in common is that they are all EXCUSES.  There, I said it.  That's how it is, if you really want to get to the bottom of it.  And frankly, the same goes for why I haven't written a blog post more recently, too.

I guess that's what I'd call the "downs" of life recently: list of excuses, and then being frustrated with my list of excuses.  Such a nasty cycle, but at least I'm not without my "ups."

The top of the "up" list has got to be a conversation I had with my trainer a few lessons ago, after I'd had a great time trotting over a five-jump course and working through some dressage exercises: she mentioned to me about showing some time this winter--- wouldn't I LOVE to do that?!?!  I'm getting excited just thinking of it.  I shouldn't be surprised since I'd had conversations about horse shows with Jessica, too, but it just seemed so much more real during this conversation.  I'm assuming that it only feels different now because it had always seemed much further away in previous discussions (I know.  Give something a few months, and it's suddenly sooner than you thought).

I've also been feeling a lot more like a "real" rider lately (excuse-filled lessons aside, obviously).  I can feel myself becoming more confident and I'm starting to retain more knowledge from my books (when I get to read them) and experiences.  I'm starting to develop a more scrutinizing eye as I watch others ride, and try my best to teach myself from their examples.  It feels good to feel like I know what I'm doing, even if I can't fully physically execute all of these things just yet.  This is a definite "up!"

Other "ups" abound, but are more to do with things outside of my lessons, such as my career moves and personal life.  It's been crazy and busy, but it has also been much more wonderful than miserable.  As things start to become more routine again, I've been finding more opportunities than excuses.  That's the biggest "up" of all.

Hi, I'm Tubby.  I love to eat and to tote around girls who love and spoil me.  If you spoil me enough, I'll do just about anything for you.  But--I'll still embarrass you by taking a good roll after a bath if I feel like it.  :)