Brick by Brick

Anyone who has taken lessons in anything knows that some days are good days and some days are not.  OR, as in my perspective, some days are AMAZING and some days are pretty frustrating.  I've had a pretty even mix of these days since I started my lessons again in January, as you all know; I go through periods where it seems every lesson is a frustrator, and then *poof!* magic happens.  I've learned to step back a little and not pressure myself into riding like a basket-case.  I've learned to appreciate Tubby's patience and understand that they have a limit-- that I need to put some patience into the relationship, too.  Mostly, I feel like I've learned that "Rome wasn't built in a day;" that the instant recipe of reading a few books, stalking a few YouTube equestrian playlists, taking some lessons, and wishing with all my might do not a perfect equestrian make-- and I've happily come to peace with that.

Earlier this month, I had some scheduling conflicts that prevented me from having a lesson for three weeks.  I thought I would go crazy without my best horsey buddy, but it turned out that I was so crazy with everything else that it was just the break I needed.  Last week I came back to Tubby with low expectations and a spirit of "let's just have fun today, Bub" that paid off with a great lesson leaving me feeling like I was right where I belonged.  I was laughing, I was smiling, Tubby was doing his Tubby Strut (relaxed, happy, and forward-- ears pricked and body round-- that guy looks good and he knows it!!), and we met with success time and again.  I even achieved the allusive Simple Lead Change that I'd never actually gotten before-- my horse has always either been an automatic changer or I've trotted for such an enormous amount of time between leads that it doesn't really count.  I'll gloss over the fact that three strides in to the new lead I dropped a stirrup (aka Put on the Tubby Brakes-- he screeches to a halt if he feels me fishing for my stirrup).  It was a great feeling to "do it right" and to be a part of an equine-human team again.  I had missed him.

Yesterday was my second lesson since my big break and it went off really well, too.  There were two other riders in the arena with me during my lesson which generally makes me happy but pretty nervous.  Add to that, we were working in patterns which also makes me nervous (it never looks to me like there is enough room in there!  It's one of those irrational things).  Add to that, Tubby was in a grumpy mood which never happens.  It had all the ingredients for one of those lessons where I beat myself into lunacy-- but I didn't.  That's a success in and of itself.

I kept thinking of all the times when I was in a grumpy mood and Tubby went along trying his best to make me happy.  I thought of how he was a good sport when I wasn't such a good sport.  I kept thinking about how my aids were affecting him and I put a real focus on making things better for him (admittedly at the expense of my own posture-- but we already knew that I wasn't perfect).  The result was worth the sacrifices of not riding exactly like the photos and videos I've pored over of perfect equitation-- the result was that learned how to keep going and to be patient, eventually diffusing the situation.  That's something I don't think I could have done before, either.

So there's two more bricks laid down to build Horsey Rome-- I'm delighted with that!